Uhh.....Frustrated with Myself!!!!

Ahh..............Why do I always just sit there without defending myself (most of the time) when some unintelligent person insults me (directly or indirectly) for being American! I just sit there like an idiot and say nothing, usually speechless because it always blows my mind when I hear someone's racist remark, against me or anyone! How can someone act like that? I believe that we all have prejudice built into our weak little minds, we can't understand anything without first processing it and categorizing it, putting it into its little square box where it belongs. But we are very capable of controlling what we say and have further abilities to discover where such a prejudice thought came from in order to minimize such happenings in the future.

Anyways.......to the story... Two of us were waking to school and we both stopped to say hi two a few class mates. Two of them began to talk, I wasn't even in the conversation and the all of the sudden (I wasn't really paying attention to the conversation) this guy calls me a gabacha! The same #%(*#*& guy who once TOLD me I'm not a Chicana. He doesn't even know what the term means, to him a Chicano o Chicana is a homie in a low-rider. So anyways, gabacha is a derogatory term for american, as if there weren't enough. And what did I do? I just sat there and said nothing while the two other people I was with defended me! Haha.....

This has happened to me tons of times now, gringa, gabacha, not Chicana, pendejos americans, assholes, that all americans are Cancun springbreakers, that the women are easy, all we do is party, you name it or that there isn't unemployment benefits in the United States or that all Americans think Obama is a communist, that Obama is the same as Bush, I could keep going on and on.....And most every time (with few exceptions) I just sit there stunned and can't say anything. Why? I don't really know, I always seemed to be amazed by what they have just said.

I know I had it coming, but I can never seem to stand up for myself! What does it even me to be "American", "Mexican", anything? Nothing! Its a false identity. Yeah, our government screws a lot of people over, including us, yeah American culture is forced on people all over the world by McDonalds, Paris Hilton and our stupid movies. Yes, Geroge Bush was horribe, yes, we consume more than any other country in the world, yes almost all the horrible transnational companies are american (Monsanto, Coca-Cola, Cargill etc etc), yes yes yes.....But we all have to work together against this horrible colonialism and not separate ourselves with racism, that is exactly what benefits such horrible atrocities, the separation of people. We are fighting the same fight for peace and justice, for the right to live our own lives. And when I say this to people at school or in other places, what do they say? They say, "Yeah, but you're different, your not like most gringos", totally discrediting me and everything I work for. What does it mean to not be like most gringos?

Maybe I sound like a little whiny baby right now, I have just had to put up with a lot of this and I'm not very at dealing with it. I see this prejudice as a huge roadblock to a # of problems in our world, we always categorize the "other", we attach past histories, people, situations to things in the now, things that are completely different and unique....we give everything its baggage and it looks like the baggage attached to me is one of an oppresive neocolonial country that will do anything to have more for itself. Ehh...

Mexico Art

Here are a few of the pieces of art I've made since I've been here in Mexico. I have more, but some are in progress and another one is a bit PG-13/R rated. As I create more, I'll let you know, enjoy...

Faith Mind

By Seng-ts'an, Third Chinese Patriarch

Translated by Richard B. Clarke


Painting: "Nothingness" by Anke Vogel






The Great Way is not difficult
for those not attached to preferences.
When neither love nor hate arises,
all is clear and undisguised.
Separate by the smallest amount, however,
and you are as far from it as heaven is from earth.

If you wish to know the truth,
then hold to no opinions for or against anything.
To set up what you like against what you dislike
is the disease of the mind.

When the fundamental nature of things is not recognized
the mind's essential peace is disturbed to no avail.
The Way is perfect as vast space is perfect,
where nothing is lacking and nothing is in excess.

Indeed, it is due to our grasping and rejecting
that we do not know the true nature of things.
Live neither in the entanglements of outer things,
nor in ideas or feelings of emptiness.
Be serene and at one with things
and erroneous views will disappear by themselves.

When you try to stop activity to achieve quietude,
your very effort fills you with activity.
As long as you remain attached to one extreme or another
you will never know Oneness.
Those who do not live in the Single Way
cannot be free in either activity or quietude, in assertion or denial.

Deny the reality of things
and you miss their reality;
assert the emptiness of things
and you miss their reality.
The more you talk and think about it
the further you wander from the truth.
So cease attachment to talking and thinking,
and there is nothing you will not be able to know.

To return to the root is to find the essence,
but to pursue appearances or "enlightenment" is to miss the source.
To awaken even for a moment
is to go beyond appearance and emptiness.

Changes that seem to occur in the empty world
we make real only because of our ignorance.

Do not seek for the truth;
Only cease to cherish opinions.

Do not remain in a dualistic state;
avoid such easy habits carefully.
If you attach even to a trace
of this and that, of right and wrong,
the Mind-essence will be lost in confusion.
Although all dualities arise from the One,
do not be attached even to ideas of this One.

When the mind exists undisturbed in the Way,
there is no objection to anything in the world;
and when there is no objection to anything,
things cease to be— in the old way.
When no discriminating attachment arises,
the old mind ceases to exist.
Let go of things as separate existences
and mind too vanishes.
Likewise when the thinking subject vanishes
so too do the objects created by mind.

The arising of other gives rise to self;
giving rise to self generates others.
Know these seeming two as facets
of the One Fundamental Reality.
In this Emptiness, these two are really one—
and each contains all phenomena.
If not comparing, nor attached to "refined" and "vulgar"—
you will not fall into judgment and opinion.

The Great Way is embracing and spacious—
to live in it is neither easy nor difficult.
Those who rely on limited views are fearful and irresolute:
The faster they hurry, the slower they go.
To have a narrow mind,
and to be attached to getting enlightenment
is to lose one's center and go astray.
When one is free from attachment,
all things are as they are,
and there is neither coming nor going.

When in harmony with the nature of things, your own fundamental nature,
and you will walk freely and undisturbed.
However, when mind is in bondage, the truth is hidden,
and everything is murky and unclear,
and the burdensome practice of judging
brings annoyance and weariness.
What benefit can be derived
from attachment to distinctions and separations?

If you wish to move in the One Way,
do not dislike the worlds of senses and ideas.
Indeed, to embrace them fully
is identical with true Enlightenment.
The wise person attaches to no goals
but the foolish person fetters himself or herself.
There is one Dharma, without differentiation.
Distinctions arise from the clinging needs of the ignorant.
To seek Mind with the discriminating mind
is the greatest of mistakes.

Rest and unrest derive from illusion;
with enlightenment, attachment to liking and disliking ceases.
All dualities come from ignorant inference.
They are like dreams, phantoms, hallucinations—
it is foolish to try to grasp them.
Gain and loss, right and wrong; finally abandon all such thoughts at once.

If the eye never sleeps,
all dreams will naturally cease.
If the mind makes no discriminations,
the ten thousand things
are as they are, of single essence.
To realize the mystery of this One-essence
is to be released from all entanglements.
When all things are seen without differentiation,
the One Self-essence is everywhere revealed.
No comparisons or analogies are possible
in this causeless, relationless state of just this One.

When movement stops, there is no movement—
and when no movement, there is no stopping.
When such dualities cease to exist
Oneness itself cannot exist.
To this ultimate state
no law or description applies.

For the Realized mind at one with the Way
all self-centered striving ceases.
Doubts and irresolutions vanish
and the Truth is confirmed in you.
With a single stroke you are freed from bondage;
nothing clings to you and you hold to nothing.
All is empty, clear, self-illuminating,
with no need to exert the mind.
Here, thinking, feeling, understanding, and imagination
are of no value.
In this world "as it really is"
there is neither self nor other-than-self.

To know this Reality directly
is possible only through practicing non-duality.
When you live this non-separation,
all things manifest the One, and nothing is excluded.
Whoever comes to enlightenment, no matter when or where,
Realizes personally this fundamental Source.

This Dharma-truth has nothing to do with big or small, with time and space.
Here a single thought is as ten thousand years.
Not here, not there—
but everywhere always right before your eyes.
Infinitely large and infinitely small: no difference,
for definitions are irrelevant
and no boundaries can be discerned.
So likewise with "existence" and "non-existence."

Don't waste your time in arguments and discussion
attempting to grasp the ungraspable.

Each thing reveals the One,
the One manifests as all things.
To live in this Realization
is not to worry about perfection or non-perfection.
To put your trust in the Heart-Mind is to live without separation,
and in this non-duality you are one with your Life-Source.

Words! Words!
The Way is beyond language,
for in it there is no yesterday,

no tomorrow

no today.

Time for a Little Inspiration

Uh...I'm getting lethargic from sitting so many hours in front the computer each day doing my homework! I need a break, something to refresh me!

While this is true, I'm still having a good time reading and writing, my homework gets me so excited (nerd, I know)! Here's a little update on what I'm spending all my time on-

My final essays are on how Growing Power reflects a new rurality in the U.S. and my other one is about how the struggles of the small farmer world-wide due to the industrialization of the global food system and its control by a few large transnational corporations is being felt back home and in Mexico. I'm also wrapping up a final presentation on how Mexico's public policy supports, or rather doesn’t support, the development of its rural community. I'm specifically looking at its public policy for corn (Mexico traditional and sacred staple) and how the government is embracing GMOs and biotechnology as the supposed path to rural development in Mexico. I'm also reading a number of articles and books written by my professors and others on topics such as Post-Civilization, human right and autonomy in indigenous Mexican communities, the systemization and incorporation of traditional indigenous and campesino agriculture knowledge, New Rurality and tonnnsss more! To say the least, I absolutely love my school work! Well now you know what I'm working on.

Now on to the refreshing part-

I found this great thesis entitled, The Concept of Nature in Pre-Hispanic Nahua Thought. I haven't been able to read it all because like I said before, I've been working hard on my homework. I really liked this short section I read on the Nahua view of the correlation between humans and plants. If I am strengthening any of my values here in Mexico, it is most definitely my belief that humans are a part of this living, breathing earth, we are nature, nature is us, we are everything and nothing all at the same time. Thanks to my personal everyday experiences, lack of experiences (not having access to nature like I did back home), classes and relationships, my mind and hearth have been strengthened in these core truths. Here's a great example (from the thesis) of what I am talking about, I hope you like it-

"The lives of humans and plants are the same. Both originate from the earth, grow from seeds, require and take nourishment from the earth, mature, flower, produce fruit, wither, die, and return to nourish the earth. As a contemporary Nahua song from the Sierra Norte of Puebla puts it:

We live HERE on the earth [stamping on the mud floor]
we are all fruits of the earth
the earth sustains us
we grow here, on the earth and flower
and when we die we wither in the earth
we are ALL FRUITS of the earth [stamping on the mud floor]...
We eat of the earth
then the earth eats us.

Like plants, humans are organically interwoven into the living organism of nature, and they need to know how to move in balance and harmony with that organism order to survive and flourish. Like plants, humans need to live in balance with the various paired, polar cosmic forces that characterize the movement of nature: light and dark, hot and cold, wet and dry, etc. Like plants, humans must know where and when to sow their seeds, harvest, etc. -- i.e. when and where to perform rituals activities that help them remain in harmony with nature and maintain their balance upon the slippery earth.

This is inspiring and motivates me to try to become closer to nature every day. Back to homework.

Painting by Jose Esquivel

Our Future

I can't elaborate on this quote right now (I have sooo much homework!), but I came across it in my readings, I loveeeeeddd it and I just had to share it with you! What is the future of our agriculture and who does it belong to (the people vs. companies, humans vs. machines etc.)? This quote is great-

The moral of the tale is that the capitalist system runs counter to a rational agriculture, or that a rational agriculture is incompatible with the capitalist system (even if the latter promotes technical development in agriculture) and needs either small farmers working for themselves or the control of the associated producers.
—Karl Marx, Capital, vol. 3, chapter 6, section 2.

History of Dia de los Muertos

While in Oaxaca, I kept asking friends and family of Marta to please explain the history of Day of the Dead, but no one knew! They all told me that this is a tradition that has been in their families and communities for centuries and centuries and that they continue the ceremony out of respect for the tradition and family members who have passed.

I found this neat website that explains the history, the symbolism and more of Dia de los Muertos. There were a number of other websites that were more informative, but all of them were in Spanish. This gives you a brief and overall description of the holiday-

http://latino.si.edu/DayoftheDead/

Picture: Pan de muerto

It's Crunch Time!

I'm saying sorry in advance because I won't be writing in my blog for a little while. My semester ends December 11th and I have to have all my essays and projects done three weeks in advance! I'll be going on an 18 day trip with the Rural Sociology students to northern Mexico and Baja California to visit a number of agriculture projects and observe various tourism and immigration issues. I'm also involved in a environmental and agriculture citizens group as my community service project and I attend weekly meetings and work on different projects including a botanical garden, a composting project, separation of trash, environmental education and small organic gardens. So between finishing all my school work three weeks early and my Rotary commitments, I am verrrryyyy busy.

I just got back from San Sebastian Abasolo, Oaxaca with my roommate Marta for Dia de los Muertos. It was amazing to say the least, I don't think any words could adequatley represent my expierence. While this is true, I will try to fit in a post about this experience sometime soon, maybe when I need a little break from homework. I think you will love reading about all the fun things I did this past weekend in Oaxaca.

Here are a few pictures of the things I've been up to lately-

Top Left Picture: The cemetery in San Sebastian Abasolo, I went with Marta and her family to clean the tombstones of her family and to put candles and flowers on their graves for Dia de los Muertos.

Top Right Picture: Marta and I making cheese from her family's cow. I loved it!

Bottom Left Picture: The Texcoco Rotary Club members and I at the monthly district breakfast. In the background you can see the castle of Chapultapec, in Mexico City.

Gringos

Wanna talk about borders, lets look at it from another angle....

This clip gives a pretty good idea of one of the many stereotypes Mexicans have about Americans my age, can you blame them? Unfortunately, or better yet fortunately, confronting U.S. stereotypes is one of my daily activities.

Mexico Builds Border Walls to Keep Out U.S. Assholes

You are what you eat

The future of food? click on link.

I like this picture because its a great depiction of the some of the main fast foods restaurants here in Mexico, but it's missing Burger King and of course...........McDonalds.

Things That I Miss...

My family,
Miguel,
Justin,
Rosco and Chamaco,
having a # of lakes within walking distance from my home,
the farm,
affection,
the woods,
prairies,
robins,
fall,
the Mississippi River,
hiking and camping in the state parks,
Midtown Global Market,
going to the field and picking what's ripe for dinner,
the sole sound of bird, bees and the wind,
ginger,
South Minneapolis,
pancakes,
good sushi,
live hip-hop,
wearing skirts without having "men" stare,
biking everywhere,
Mill City Farmers Market,
WEI,
Madison Farmers Market,
Thai food,
sleeping in front of my parent's fireplace,
watching my little brother breakdance,
green and black's organic chocolate
maple syrup
wisconsin cheese and wine